This last week has been a trial in acceptance of what is, forgiveness of what is not, and growth into what I am becoming. At one point my dreams increased a millionfold, colliding one into the other so much it was hard to keep up. I couldn’t write a one of them down because as soon as I understood one message in one dream I would have another and begin my next lesson. And the dreams wouldn’t even stop once daylight opened my eyes. I would find myself caught in the midst of waking dreams, triggered by visions I had in sleeping dreams that would unfold within my reality right before my very eyes. It was pretty trippy to say the least.
While I dreamt I would receive messages of love and resolution, of old stories answered and finally put to rest. All of my stories would be linked and collected by traumatic association and I would realize all of the stories, no matter which event took place, would always result in the same emotional interpretation. My dreams allowed me the perspective of observing myself from a higher point of view. It was an exercise of energetic realignment and balancing which was amazing really to know that my mind was finally realizing what my heart always knew; that it wasn’t the event itself that traumatized me, but my interpretation of the event. How I focused on key elements and perceived the entirety of each story as something that was done TO me when really each experience was an opportunity to gain understanding of what was being done FOR me.
I would wake up feeling rejuvenated and changed, my life no longer what it was before. I felt the change in my being, a settling of something, a peaceful contentedness infusing along my entire physical and energetic body. It was like feeling the world opening up to me like a flower does to the sun. It was beautiful and majestic, this new and bright connection I had with everyone and everything around me. I couldn’t stop myself from crying for the sheer magnificence in every little thing I lit my eyes upon. It was like every morning I was birthed anew and Mother Earth the one I sought to hold and love me in my infancy.
My understanding of how this life operates and why I’m here feels almost complete now. So close am I to this new found understanding of Who I Am that I no longer fear for fear’s sake. I understand fear and its place in my life, in all of our lives. I only wish it was as easy to teach others…, but in my continued learning I have come to understand the subtle complexities of teaching that which can only be learned through experience. So I am also content to live my life as I now understand through the experience of my newfound perspective.
For those around me I love, still struggling in the depths of incomprehension and self-isolation, I feel their pain, but no longer in an overwhelming sense. I understand that they are walking through the same process I did and all I need do is wait for them to come to their own understanding. Yes, I will continue to hold light and be there for them when they ask, if they ask, but it will no longer be under any sense of dire urgency. They will grow, with or without my help, for the same forces that assist me in my own journey assist them as well.
I have also come to realize a new ability in my growth, Mediumship. I think I may have had it for while now, but never really understood what I was experiencing until my latest and apparently last dream for now, which I’ll get into in a future blog post (stay tuned!). This jump in realization means I no longer fear the earth-plane and/or lower vibrations of life as anything harmful, but just is. For those of you who follow my blog religiously (thank you btw!! I love you and your words of encouragement! ❤ ), know I’m a Trance Channel and receive myriad messages from many spirit guides, but mostly Sekhmet, my main squeezie-poo (hahahah, she just rolled her eyes at me but i saw a smirk too!…she loves me) who is with me always and never leaves my side.
In the past I’ve made a clear line between myself and mediumship because I never understood completely what I thought I knew about it, which just reinforced my fears to steer clear. But for those of you who have those same fears and don’t understand the difference between Channeling and Mediumship, this is going to be a somewhat conflicted read for you (But not to worry! You have the power to use your own discernment here and accept or reject anything I say at all times. No feelings hurt here. Go for it!).
So, to explain, Channeling is the receiving of messages from a source/vibration higher than your own, like Ascended Masters, Archangels, Divinity, Christ Consciousness, etc… Mediumship is a type of channeling too, but there stems a lot of fear around this type of channeling since the messages being received are not those from Guidance or a higher consciousness of some kind, but from others either somewhat close to your own vibration or lower, like earth-plane beings (elementals, forest stewards, and the like unseen by the naked eye) and those who have transitioned but have not yet moved on for one reason or another. I’m sure there are more, but hey I’m new to this so my knowledge is quite limited. I’ll be sure to update all of you as soon I figure it out as always. Now as my fear of it subsides into that of pure curiosity I find myself thrown head first into wonderful experiences of love and connection instead of dread and worry that I may be going crazy (makes me remember that quote, “There is nothing to fear, but fear itself,” being so true in every instance, not just this one).
With every new experience I am finding myself constantly amazed at my own wonder. I tend to feel everything in three very different but simultaneous ways now. The first layer reacting in the old manner with ego fraught throughout: questioning, fearful, flinching. The second layer automatically soothing the first in hushed and gentle tones: reassuring, loving, and accepting of the first layer that all is well and all is happening as it should, to just breathe and give ourselves a chance to fully explore the experience before we come to any kind of judgement, if a judgement is even necessary. And the third, seemingly unattached layer, viewing all other layers as if it weren’t even a part of the other first, second, and experiential layers. Watching and observing everything unfolding in a very non-attached and observational fashion. It all seems quite confusing but I assure you it makes complete and wonderful sense when I’m experiencing this multi-layered existence.
The dreams have stopped for now and it seems my growth at this point has been achieved. Now I believe I am being given some lassitude to explore my new environment and revel in the awesomeness of it all. And yes I meant to say lassitude because I am extremely exhausted. Spiritual growth spurts are just as tiring as the physical ones, but in my lethargy I am filled with a peace that only grows with each day of rest and relaxation. It almost seems like the fear I felt at this growth spurt a long way away in a childhood long gone, even though I was fretting about it just a few days ago. I can feel my emotions shake its proverbial head at our past as if a parent shaking their head in silent joy at a child learning right before their eyes. Now I am busy with loving all those around me and enjoying every present moment because nothing else ever really matters.
Happy Summer my loves.
Remember, we are all loved.