Embodying the Goddess

I gained a rash all over the core of my body that just utterly destroyed me. I wanted to rip my skin off because it itched and burned so bad. I didn’t go to the doctors because I knew what was happening and had faith that once my body acclimated to the changes I was making on a cellular level then all would be well.  It took two months though…TWO MONTHS…  AA Raphael was on speed dial every night when the rash would flare up.  Sometimes I could have sworn he was shaking his head at me… ya know, like how a father does when his child had to learn the hard way instead of listening. Oi…that AA sure does have a sense of humor though. I don’t think I could have handled it as well as I did without him there laughing with me. I guess he knew I needed it. Humor has always helped me through the darkest of times.

So on top of your normal, run-of-the-mill, everyday ascension symptoms, living a life of bleeding and raw pain was me for 8 weeks. I’ll spare you the grisly details but life was not fun; which fueled my need to learn how to heal ten-fold, if only to heal myself faster than what Spirit was allowing. Of course, I’m well aware of the lesson here and still haven’t slowed down.  And you know what?  My new Guide is starting to send me messages of “I’m even stronger than I think.” So there’s that. 😀

Who is this mysterious new Spirit Guide that kept me in a daze for days? Her name is Sekhmet and if you’re current on your Ancient Egyptian Mythology (or even if you’re not, she’s pretty dang old) she is one of the oldest of Goddesses. Being a rare female Solar deity (Sun Gods are almost always male) with the power of a male deity, she is The Powerful One and the Goddess of Destruction and Healing; the epitome of the Divine Masculine/Feminine Balancing Act since her other half is the joyful, loving, and sensual Hathor.

I’m learning that channeling both Sekhmet and Hathor gives an ever clearer and stronger connection with Source as well as coming to embody more attributes than just sheer power and strength. I find my joy and need for tuning into my own sensuality has increased dramatically. I’m serious. I find myself looking at attractive men and women like something I wish to stalk and pounce upon for “playtime.” The sexual energy is so heady I’m nearly about to jump someone before I pull myself back and mentally check myself to reign in the hormones!

Aside from the dramatic increase in my sexual desire and confidence, I resonate very well with the rest of her Essence. She reminds me so much of myself in the fact that I’ve led a very destructive life during the predominantly masculine and egocentric part of my young-adult era and now that I’ve grown comfortable with my gentle, feminine side I feel more balanced; able to soothe the beast within me instead of relinquishing my hold and raging blindly like Sekhmet did when the Sun God Ra loosed her on humanity so many eons ago.  Having to trick her with blood colored beer and intoxicate her in order to bring her back to her peaceful and fun-loving, Hathor-self.

Sekhmet/Hathor revealed herself to me during my third Reiki attunement two weeks before my Intermediate Channeling class. My first day of Reiki training went really well, but I still felt like I didn’t know what I was doing so on the second day She came to me and lovingly asked me to trust myself. She was so gentle and her eyes were full of so much love and fierce confidence. She kept repeating herself to me as if she needed to because I still wasn’t trusting myself.  She then told me she loved me and that all I need do is have faith in myself and the Universe because I’m exactly where I’m suppose to be.

I held her words close to my heart during my second practice Reiki run and I could feel her within me, guiding and loving me. She guided my thoughts and helped the energy to pull through me from the ether and into my practice client.  She came so far forward at one point my Reiki instructor even said she saw her. She said my face changed every time I went deep into meditation and she could see the face of a fierce female warrior superimposed over mine.  I hadn’t told her I had seen Sekhmet/Hathor earlier so the fact that she basically described her the same way I saw her felt validating to say the least.  And I also got really good feedback from my practice client stating that our session felt like a fully-trained Reiki practitioner had worked on him. Yay!

She didn’t reveal her name to me then so I didn’t know who she was until my Channeling class.  The great thing was my Channeling instructor already knew I had switched guides again. I was in mid-switch from AA Raphael to Mother Mary during my beginner’s class a month before. Usually Channelers have their main Channel (like my instructor’s main Channel is AA Metatron, he’s been with her for many years) and a few have multiple Channels they switch back and forth between, but it’s few and far between to find a Channeler that tends to bounce from Channel to Channel like I seem to be doing.  But I’m starting to get the feeling that it’s a common occurrence for beginner Channelers still feeling things out.

I thought at first I just didn’t know what I was doing and I was just calling out the first Spirit I could think of, but I’ve learned Bouncers bounce because each spirit has something specific to teach us at that time. Some of them stay with us forever, but most just have a guest appearance until we learn the lesson they contracted with us to learn.  And since I’m asking to be fast-tracked this situation makes sense to me.  Although, I’m really loving the feel of Sekhmet/Hathor’s energy and I hope she’s one of the spirits that stays with me forever…

And that’s another thing I’m learning, each spirit has their own energy signature.  I’ve been told each soul does too, but I have yet to run into a human or animal that registers on my scales the way Spirit does.  My talent tends to lay in sensing the energy around me and “having a feel” of each type of energy. Like harsh, volatile, or negative energy feels very jagged and sharp to me. It feels like I’m being pricked with needles on my skin. Not a very fun feeling; although, the feeling of natural harsh energy like an electrical storm or the build up of a strong warm-front about to dump loads of windy rain just feels heavy and I tend to get a metallic taste in the back of my throat depending on how strong the storm, and it doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all.  Only the energy I’ve felt from other humans have been able to make me feel sick, uncomfortable, or in down-right pain, which in a sense makes… well, sense.

Sekhmet/Hathor’s energy feels like love made into liquid silk, poured into

warm honey, and fed to a kitten that then purrs non-stop while it rubs itself against me in a very possessive and sensual way.  Yes, I know… a lot more detailed than one expects, but that is EXACTLY how she feels to me and I LOVE Her.  I can’t get enough of her and I have a very hard time letting her go when I go into Channel.  I’ve never felt that way with AA Raphael or Mother Mary so I wonder on the reasons why.  I hope it’s because she’s my Forever Spirit Guide. I would absolutely transcend into the next life completely fulfilled and happy if it turns true!

The revealing part of my channeling was when I realized I was able to go on shamanic-like journeys while channeling, read oracle cards for others or other people for that matter, and see past lives. These were all exercises our Instructor led us on and it was truly amazing.  I had no idea Channeling was so inclusive/interchangeable with the other types of tools for gaining esoteric knowledge.  I’m really excited about fully enhancing my abilities here so I can learn as much as I can and help others in as many ways as possible.  I can’t wait for Advanced training to start next year. That will be another four months of intensive training…yay!

Take care, and Be Love!

Namaste

(Images courtesy of the Journey Goddess blog found here)